Hystersisters

I know there are a lot of women out there who have had a hysterectomy, I even know some of them. They talk about it as though it were the best thing that ever happened to them. That doesn’t help my feeling of nervousness right now. I think the butterflies are about to fly right out of my throat!

It was an early morning wake up (5am) for us after a long drive home yesterday. We finally made it at around 9 pm & had a lot to do before bed. One of my chickens died while gone & one of my fish, everyone else was happy & healthy.

I now wait in preop for my nurse to come start my iv line. I forgot my socks at home so I get to wear these incredibly comfortable ( heat the sarcasm?) hospital provided ones.

I’ve already spoken with the anesthesiologists and he recommended versed ( midazolan) before surgery. It helps to relax you without knocking you out. He said that it does cause you to be more sleepy at recovery but I’m ok with that. He warned that the most common side effect after this type of surgery was nausea. Ya. One of the nurses came in a few minutes ago & asked for a urine sample. They will check me for pregnancy even though I can’t remember when the last time we had sex was. Now I’m just waiting on my IV and I’m sure surgery won’t be too long after that. At my preop appointment my nurse told me I’d be staying overnight. So far no one has confirmed that.

IV is in so now I just wait to talk to the doctor. I’ve read about the procedure and my only question is if everything comes out of my belly button or if it comes out vaginaly? Apparently this is a full hysterectomy where they take the uterus, ovaries, tubes & cervix. It’s 9:17 and I’m pretty amped up. I’m ready to get this done. You’d think as many surgeries that I’ve had since I was 16 that I’d be a pro at this, but I’m still nervous. Gods got this.

I think Garrik needs an iv of his own. He asked me if I was sleepy & I said no. He told me to let him have the hospital bed then 🙂

Live in the moment

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

In 2 days I will be headed to my hysterectomy surgery at mother Frances. Currently I’m sitting in New Mexico, enjoying a cup O’ joe and getting ready for day 4 of our vacation.

We had planned 2 trips this year before I found out I needed another surgery- this one & a cruise with my sisters in July.

So far this trip has not disappointed at all! We’ve visited many historic sights and some super cool locations. Today we plan to hang around ruidoso & do some local sight seeing. Tomorrow we will start heading home and on Tuesday we get up early to go to the hospital.

The key to surviving successfully after a life changing diagnosis like breast cancer is to always live in the moment. Don’t let a diagnosis determine your happiness or hold you back.

We’ve struggled hard after my surgeries when I’ve been unable to work, but with God’s help and the kindness of our friends, we’ve made it through. Being able to sell some stuff in order to afford this trip was a blessing too. The day before we were due to leave someone bought our elliptical/bike & that really helped pad our pockets & enable us to eat some meals out & get gas.

Next weekend is our annual carnival. I might not be able to help set it up like normal, but we’ve got some friends coming to help us so we can keep the tradition going- this is year 5.

2 week countdown

The countdown has already begun. On Saturday I discontinued my vitamin E till after my surgery. I will have to stop my blood pressure & cholesterol meds the day of surgery and can start again the day after. 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks. ( update: now just 9 days!)

Immediately before surgery Garrik & I have a mini vacation planned with our geocaching friends Debbie & William, Travis & Melissa, & Corey & Theresa. We will be heading to New Mexico after Garrik gets off work on Wednesday. The plan is to drive through the night. I’ll get home after work & go to bed ASAP. Garrik will be home around 1 or 2. I have a really hard time sleeping when Garrik drives because I’m afraid he’s gonna narc out. It will be a really long day.

This morning Garrik told me he could see my floobage.

I guess that’s what I get for having foobs!

After church I headed over to momma & Daddys for Easter lunch. It consisted of finger foods. I made a ham, deviled eggs & jello eggs. I wore a pair of cute heels that gave me huge blisters on the pad of my feet! Daddy was pretty quiet. He said he had been sleeping a lot.

I reminded them of my surgery. It’s next Tuesday. I’ve got to get a couple dinners but otherwise I think we are sort of ok. I might fall short on bills the next week but we’ll face that when it happens.

Foobs not boobs

I saw this shirt on wish.com last night. I’d love to have it but I have found that a size large on wish is the equivalent to an extra small in real life.

Yesterday at work a dog jumped up on my chest & today I’m really sore there. The dog didn’t bounce off one of my foobs but instead the sternum. Even so, it hurt.

Foobs…. what a funny term. I first learned of it when I was diagnosed and started researching cancer, mastectomies & reconstruction surgeries. I adopted the term immediately after receiving my expanders & carried it over to my implants.

My foobs have become part of me. I won’t say they are 100% comfortable but I mostly forget they aren’t real. I do wish I could lay on my stomach to sleep but with the help of my handy memory pillow I can adjust myself to a comfy position to sleep on my side.

Around the house & chopper

We had such a busy weekend! When I got home from work Friday I found Garrik building shelves in our lean to. I picked up a few new chickens and helped out at church with the helicopter egg drop.

Standing guard at the ropes got me a little sun today. I could feel the heat on my skin while I was cooking the ham & deviled eggs this evening.

3 times the charm/or harm

Yesterday I had a pathology appointment in the morning and my chemotherapy was at 11:30. Since I’m restricted on which arm to use for blood draws, because of lymphedema, I wondered if I would have several pokes all over my arm. As it turned out- no…. they all 3 just poked me in the same vein! The pathology department got me first, then bloodwork at Texas Oncology got me there again and finally the chemo nurse put my chemo iv there. I’m surprised it’s not bruised all though my arm is a bit weak today.

After all my doctors stuff through the morning, Garrik & I went to grab a quick cache for the souvenir thing geocaching.com is doing right now. I started to feel nauseous right away. We had barely stopped when the need to vomit overwhelmed me. Garrik went to look for the cache while I lost my breakfast.

We met up with my aunt and went to dig through the JC Penny clearance racks, then over to Walmart to check out their clearance. I had been speaking with a man who propagates Venus fly traps for a few weeks now. We went to his house to see his collection and were there for maybe an hour. We learned a lot about fly traps and I bought a hybrid of a King Henry ( tall plants) with B52 ( big traps) planted in a skull. It’s really cool & im excited to try my hand at growing them.

The next stop was Lowe’s where I was able to find some thimble cactus broken off the plant. While there we walked to rose rudman and found a clever cache right off the trail. Since it didn’t take long to find we decided to use one of the free movie tickets Christina gave me and we went to see Captain Marvel. After the movie we stopped by Faulkner to find one last cache. Unfortunately Garrik forgot his flashlight at home & his phone was dead. All we had was my phone light to search with. It wasn’t too long before we found the cache, high up in a tree.

It was late when we finally arrived home. I think near 11, but we had a full day and got everything we wanted to do done.

The unseen

I got sick at work today. I’m sure it was my own fault. My fingers are cracking again so badly and they just hurt all the time. I was drawing blood & got alcohol on one of the cracks and decided I would put some collasate spray on the crack. This spray is something we use on dogs that forms a protective barrier on a would so it can heal. I did not realize that it was also full of a very nasty bitter, to keep dogs from licking it off. A couple hours after applying the spray I put my finger in my mouth for some unknown reason…. I immediately realized my mistake as I nearly started gagging on the bitter! It was terrible! I grabbed my water to try & wash away the gross but water made it worse. I used my jacket to try & wipe as far back on my tongue as I could but only succeed in gagging more. Finally I saw a peppermint on the other desk and as fast as I could with sore fingers, unwrapped it and started chewing it up! It helped a little. That bitter flavor would not go away!

At lunch I had left over taco salad, and still tasted the bitter. After lunch I monitored a dental procedure but the whole time my stomach was churning. Soon after we were done in surgery I sat down to do my notes but just couldn’t shake the nauseous feeling. I hurried to the bathroom just in time to lose my lunch violently. I keep toothbrush, paste & mouthwash in the cabinet at work and even after using it I still could taste bitter! This stuff is terrible guys. I have no idea how on earth a dog could just keep licking a wound with this crap sprayed on it. It’s nearly 9pm and on the very back of my tongue I can still vaguely taste it. I will never make that mistake again!

I had a follow up appointment with Dr. O this afternoon. I left work and made it just in time. The visit was really short. She said everything looked good with my foobs and she removed a pokey suture that kept sticking me under the arm. My next visit wit her is in a year. Then I will have an MRI in 5 years & every 5 years from here on out.

I’m feeling pretty good. I have random soreness and pain flares from time to time. Nothing I think is abnormal with having my boobs amputated, my skin stretched and big bags of gel inserted! I get the phantom nipple ache sometimes but it’s not all that bad. My hot flashes have improved since the doctor put me on Effexor a couple weeks ago & I’ve lost some weight. Not a lot but about 10 pounds, which makes me very happy. I’ve not gone to the gym all week and I bet if I was more of an everyday gym girl, I’d lose more.

In other news I got my two black copper maran pullets today. Now there is only 1 more egg color layer I need ( olive). Maybe I can get a polish, silkie and fizzle too!

We’ve sold 4 cartons of eggs this week. That was enough to go buy chicken food tonight, and more cartons to fill. I posted at my church Facebook page that we have eggs but so far no one has responded.

These are the eggs this morning. Once every hen starts laying we should be able to expect about 10-15 eggs a day, I hope.

Hair collage

It’s not been very long since my head shaving party. Slowly, oh so very slowly it’s growing back. The grey is much more prominent now but so far it’s stayed straight and I haven’t suffered “chemo curl”. It’s at a point where it kind of pokes out all over my head. I put pixie putty in it sometimes to give it a messy look, but honestly I just don’t know what to do with it. The back curls up like a duck tail because I go to bed with it wet & my pillow causes it to be swept upwards. In the morning I try to wet brush it back into place but I’ve mostly just given up & will wait till I can put cute clips in it or something.

Keep going

I couldn’t resist this bracelet at 90% off. Y’all know I don’t cuss, like ever. But this one pulled me in. No one will ever see what’s inside but me. It’s silver, which is not my color but I just had to have it.

I noticed yesterday that my eyebrows were falling out again. I looked in the mirror today and don’t understand why it’s happening. I’m not doing the harsh chemo anymore. So far my hair seems fine. My eyelashes are less than half what they were previously and they still seem ok too.

My last cycle is starting. It’s weird to think that after this one I will never have to deal with it again. It’s a relief honestly. No more worries about my sheets or clothes. Or of being unprepared. No more pain. It will be amazing after my surgery. I’m ready to get this over & done with! I’m thankful that this is my weekend off. I can lay about and take long hot baths. I won’t, but I COULD.

Stronger than the storm

Survivor Strong, a store with gifts intended for the cancer survivor/fighter, was going out of business so I took advantage of their 70% off and got myself a couple meaningful bracelets. I’m excited to get the chance to wear them.

The past few weeks have been really busy for me. My chicken coop is going strong. We are up to 11 total so far, and growing. There’s actually a chicken meet this weekend I plan to go to.

My succulent gardening is also doing well. Soon I’ll be able to move my babies outside to enjoy the warm sun.

Both hobbies help to calm my nerves and give me a feeling of bliss. I could sit in my coop for hours watching the birds and I love to show off and share my unique garden.

If I ever thought cancer would take anything truly meaningful away from me, I was wrong. My husband still loves & even desires me and I’m still able to enjoy the things I did before the mastectomy. I haven’t actually been kayaking yet but I will soon.

Cancer hasn’t got me beat. Of course I’m not done fighting yet but I’m strong and healthy enough to kick the big C’s butt. My chemo continues until late November. After that I’ll be on oral hormone blockers for 5-10 years, but that’s ok. With Gods help and the continued support of my friends, family & co-workers I’ll be fine.